Friends, my cup overfloweth - Alexander McCall Smith

Published in the Telegraph, Feb 2011

What would you do if you were Penelope Keith and wanted to start a controversy in a small Scottish harbour town? The answer, it seems, is to start a tea room. The resulting split in the community, now resolved in the actress’s favour, shows the power of tea to awaken passions in just about any breast. Which is odd, in a way, as the traditional British response to an emergency is to offer to put the kettle on.
This happened during the Blitz, and more recently, too: a great deal of tea was consumed in Downing Street during last year’s financial melt-down, and had tea not been available, then there is no doubt that matters would have turned out far worse. Tea, once again, has been in the very thick of things.

The mistake that many non-tea drinkers make is to assume that tea is just a drink, not much different from coffee or hot chocolate. That misses the strong ritualistic possibilities of tea, particularly in the Far East, where tea ceremonies involve a choreography and liturgy that take years to perfect. And even in this country, the serving of tea can be done with a formality that underlines the significance of the occasion.

Having tea with somebody is a social act – a sharing of a moment of quiet and reflection. When you are invited to tea, you are invited to participate in one of our few remaining social rituals. And even if the sharing of tea is more casual, as when people take tea together in the office, there is a basic etiquette that requires that they should at least relate to one another, should make some attempt at conversation as they drink. Coffee does not require that.

Of course the world of tea, like any other important area of human activity, is shot through with divisions and disagreements. One of these is the question of herbal infusions. These are becoming more popular, with sales rising 60 per cent in a year, and it would be unwise for purists to point out that they are not real teas. They are, in fact, allies of tea, being drunk in similar circumstances, and in the same spirit. These friends of tea should not be cold-shouldered.

Another vexed issue is that of tea bags. There are those tea drinkers who use tea bags and those who shudder at their mention. Tea drinkers in the latter group often refer to the contents of tea bags as tea “dust”, an expression usually uttered with a disdainful curl of the lip. They have a point, I believe – the average bag produces a rather bland, flat brew quite different from the freshness and vigour of proper leaf tea. For this reason, real enthusiasts take their own leaf tea with them when they visit North America, although some American companies, such as the stylish Republic of Tea, are bringing real tea to the coffee-ridden American heartlands. These are tea missionaries, and they operate in Britain, too, in the shape of companies such the Rare Tea Company. Their work is noble.

The United States has more to answer for than the Boston Tea Party. One of the horrors of staying in an otherwise excellent American hotel is to discover that you are expected to make tea in your room in a pot that has contained coffee.This is anathema to a tea drinker, because of the terrible incompatibility of the two flavours. If this habit comes here – and there are signs that it is – then the only hope will be a mass uprising of concerned drinkers. A great deal is at stake.
Other divisions and heresies rumble away in the background. One of the difficult ones is the question of milk. A very grand tea drinker will not take milk, as it confuses and destroys the flavour. Others – like me – will do so unapologetically, for much the same reason as they will add whisky to water: because they like it. But if milk is used, another quandary arises: should it be put in first, or added afterwards? There is no agreement on this. The Queen could give a clear ruling on it, but has understandably declined to do so: the issue is far too political. So it’s over to Mr Cameron now. Strong leadership on this one, please!

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